Hipster and Proud!

Hipster and Proud! - 26 (Seoul)
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Date: 2010-07-01, 12:15AM KST
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I'm not going to hide it, not anymore! For too long the word "hipster" has been a hurtful and uncool pejorative used to discriminate against me and my friends. Well, I'm here to say that I'm a hipster, I'm looking for a quirky Zooey Deschanel-type girl, and I'm not ashamed of it!

I'm really into music, duh, except heavy metal or country - unless its done ironically, because its okay to like thing as long as you are mocking, and thus inherently superior to, them. I'm especially into local bands since, if they ever make it big, I can proclaim that I liked them back when they were still playing in dive bars for drink tickets (before expressing my disgust at their selling out). I'm also addicted to fashion, which provides me with a great opportunity to sate my constant need for one-upmanship. That V-neck is the latest from American Apparrel? Hell, mine is so new they haven't even released it yet. Those Chucks are early 80's vintage? Well mine are late 70's more vintage. No matter what you're into, I'll always find a way to insert a comment implying you are just on the other side of the cutting edge.

I also care a lot about causes. Poor urban minorities. Impoverished farmers in Latin America. Ethnic cleansing in Africa. In fact, there is almost no subject I'm unwilling to loudly ruminate about, and no opinion too uninformed for me to vehemently advocate. And, should it be proposed that I have an extremely simplistic world view tainted by a profound lack of cultural, historical, and economic perspective, I will use one of several pre-arranged quotes from an obscure Serbian anarchist I keep on hand just for moments like those. Why? Because I care. I care enough to move into poor urban neighborhoods and show I have unlimited compassion for the working class matching my a puerile need for street cred. Then, when all my friends move to the neighborhood and drive out the locals with skyrocketing property values, I can grouse in a series of jeremiads about how much the place has changed and just isn't "real" anymore.

Now, a lot of people say that hipsters don't read anything other than Chuck Palahniuk or Vice Magazine, but I read plenty of other stuff as well. Mostly, I read books that are about to be turned into a movie - especially if it's a movie by Wes Anderson, Spike Jonze, or David Fincher - so I can complain to everybody that the book was better than the film version. I also skim through works by Camu, Foucault, and Gide in order to drop their names into conversations regardless of whether it fits naturally into the dialogue or not. I'm even planning on writing a novel some day, along with making a film and starting a band, despite lacking any of the disciplined work-ethic or basic creative mechanics required to undertake such ventures.

Now, some of you might wonder how someone in their mid-twenties who has never had a job can afford to go to clubs every night and live in a 5,000 square-foot loft apartment. First off, I do have a job. I keep a party blog and, twice a month, I contribute music reviews to this totally indie underground zine. Second, work is for people who aren't creative, proactive, and aware like I am - people like my parents, who worked for decades to support my bohemian lifestyle.

Physically, I'm horribly ugly. I get no exercise outside of bike rallies and games of kickball, have facial hair reminiscent of a 19th-century longshoreman, and live in utterly debased, unhygienic conditions. But, all of that doesn't matter, because I'm an artist, an intellectual, and an activist. You'll know that's true because I will never stop telling you about it.

So, don't listen to all the haters that say me, and people like me, are just self-obsessed nihilists incapable of showing genuine sentiment or doing anything creative beyond simple commentary. We're here, we're now, and we're not going anywhere... unless a new trend comes around.

BTW, got any coke?

Location: Seoul
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PostingID: 1818887021