$1 Alt Lifestyle(female) (Greensboro)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-08-16, 5:57PM EDT
Reply to: hous-xxxxxxxxxxxxxx@craigslist.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Location: corner of XXXXXXXX and XXXXXXXXX
Have you ever had fantisys of being part of a harem or a slave girl? Would you
like to be part of a social experiment? You will get 1 collar, 1 shared
bedroom(bunk bed, fully furnished), utilities(gas,elec,water,HS-cable,local phone)
and food; for $1/month + (cleaning or cooking). Room assignments may change every
4 months.
Spots available 1 cook, 1 maid, and 1 pet. Spots are 4 to 8 months only and pet
may not be the first role you take; pet is also optional. And since this kind of
thing can be taken the wrong way, a non disclosure contract will also be required.
Mon 6PM-10PM and Fri 6PM-7PM will be house dinner and house meetings, dinner prep
starts 5:15PM for cook, else 11:15pm curfew. Requires 5hrs/week dinners
and house meetings and 5hrs/week in assigned roleplay. No eating or drinking in
bedrooms. No overnight guests unless imediate family. No parties. no smoking
anywhere on property. And will require some reading to our small group. other duties
include your own laundry, and cleaning up after yourself in all common rooms.
This experiment is about roleplay, learning the minimum cleaning that a social worker would require from you if children were in the house, learning how to cook for a family of 6, and learning how to follow and give directions. This is also about presenting your goals to a group and as a group, being held accountable. This will be a documented experiment, if you wish to write a journal it can be turned in every 6 months at ($10per readable & full page) up to $500.
The trade is this: room and board for 10hrs/week your end. My end, I get two cooked meals per week, a clean house and quotes-jurnalistic ideas if you turn in a journal.
The downstairs has one male until Nov. then It will be all female. The upstairs is
occupied by one male who is responsible for yard and house maintance. And their are
dogs and a cat.
We presently have 1 of the 3 spots filled. IF anyone is interested in filling another spot. (336)294-XXXX for questions or to see the house. Ask for Marty, or leave name and #.
•Location: Greensboro
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1902450025
Some Tips From an Old-hand at Harems
|Colin Heintze to hous-XXXXXXXXXXXXXX. 8:26 PM (2 minutes ago)
Pardon my intrusion, but after reading your message I was seized with the desire to offer my most humble and well-intentioned advice. I should preface this with by saying that the purpose of this response is not to be condescending or in any way disrespectful of your harem-building ambitions, but only to give you, with your clear lack of experience in these matters, some pointers that will allow you to avoid the pitfalls that plague many journeyman harem-builders.
First of all, three women is not a harem. It's barely even a shisha den. Now, I know what you're thinking - "three girls will be easier to manage", but let me tell you that, when it comes to harems, bigger is always better. With only three girls locked inside the incense-laden, gilded chamber of your palace, all it it takes is two forming an alliance for some very nasty plots to emerge. First, a little flirtation with the captain of the guards. Then, maybe some secret messages smuggled out to foreign ambassadors. Next thing you know, you've got some harem girl trying to enthrone the son you begot on her. Then you have guards to torture, heads to put on pikes, and bastard-sons to have quietly murdered lest they ever emerge to challenge your rightful heirs. Really, it's depressing. Better to have at least a few dozen girls, so their vying for your attention will cause them to factionalize against each other. Like my father always said, building a harem is a science, not an art.
Also, having less girls in your harem than you do wives? Seems like it defeats the purpose... just saying.
Have you even thought about security? New harem-builders never do. For every three girls, you're going to need at least one eunuch, preferably a dark-skinned kafir (I'm not racist by the way, it's just good policy to have kafirs guard your harems since, in case they weren't properly snipped, you can always look at a newborn mulatto and tell who the father was). Sure, for a harem your size you'll probably go with some low-end eunuch, but let me tell you something - when you buy discount eunuchs, you get what you pay for. Does your eunuch know the correct amount of hashish to administer to a certain girl on a daily basis? Has your eunuch the resolve to separate two girls who, while you campaign against the Hungarians, have taken to committing lewd acts with each other? Most importantly, can your eunuch crush the skull of an intruder as easily as an egg? And don't even think of trying to get a eunuch outside the union. Do that, and you'll have a few hundred picketers in front of the palace gates shouting in that creepy falsetto of theirs. By the prophet, peace be upon his name, the paperwork turns into a real nightmare.
And really, encouraging your harem girls to read and write? Maybe next we could not execute apostates, or allow women to own property. This is a harem, man, so leave all those high-falutin' modern ideals to those swines in Venice.
But, I will not harangue you further, for if there is one thing I've learned about harems, it's that the only way to truly learn is by doing. So, take my advice or leave it, because when it comes to enslaving a large number of women to be exploited as sexual objects, there's only one rule: have fun!
Sincerely,
His Most Revered Excellency Great Osman, Scourge of the Infidels, and Sal Al-Addin
Sultan Yildirim Bayezid
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Looking For a Cool Chick
Looking for a Cool Chick - 27 (Seoul)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-08-03, 8:52PM KST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wassup ladies? I don't know about this internet shit, but I guess its time to branch out since I haven't met any cool girls here at all. I mean, the girls here are hot and everything, and I've always had this preference for Asian chicks since my step-dad showed me this super fucked-up Japanese porno, but they walk around like they all got a bug in their asses or something.
I'm here on this totally sweet teaching gig. It's the easiest bucks I ever made since that summer I dealt weed a camp. I had this great system where my brother would sneak it into my mom's care packages from home if I promised to let him look at my Hustlers when I came back. God, he was such a fucking retard. Anyways, that was a good summer. I got one of the counselors stoned and she let me go under the shirt. She was like 20 and I was just 16, which was the first, but trust me not last, time I ever felt tit (I'm not counting when I had to pull my cousin out of the bathtub that time she overdosed. Her tits weren't even that good, maybe a 6 at best). Mostly, I just play the kids episodes of the Simpsons and try to keep them from sticking their fingers in the electrical sockets, most of the time pretty successfully I might add. I got plenty of money too, and I can't even find a way to spend it. I mean, there's like no weed here at all, which frees up like half my budget right there, and every time I go to bars there's always some old dude who wants to practice his English buying me drinks. At first I thought there was something a little fruity about that, but those dudes usually pass out after the fifth beer so I don't gotta worry about them getting all gay with me.
But it's hard finding cool chicks here, man. I mean, there's plenty of Korean girls who want a little American steel (I'm talking about my penis), but they all want to go out to dinner and chat on the internet and hold hands in public and shit. Slamming some chick was a lot easier back home, when we'd just hang in the berm behind the YMCA and huff wood varnish till one of us blacked out. I woke up with no money plenty of times, but I also slammed some of the hottest chicks in town too, so it was an equal trade. Hell, with my tolerance to varnish I'd say it was more like 70-30 in my favor. The only chick that could regularly keep up with me was Kira Watson, but that wasn't no loss since everyone knew she got crabs from Jesse Miller anyways.
So I might be kinda a playboy but I figure this is no one's maiden voyage, if you know what I mean (I mean sex). The one time I slammed a virgin she kept calling and showing up at my house and acting all clingy and shit, so I definitely don't want that. I had to promise to meet her out in farm country, then leave her ass there without a ride home to finally get the message across. Last I heard, she killed herself, so I guess I dodged a bullet by getting rid of some crazy chick sooner rather than later.
That said, if you're not crazy, not a virgin, and totally down to party, let's hook up.
•Location: Seoul
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1877990202
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-08-03, 8:52PM KST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wassup ladies? I don't know about this internet shit, but I guess its time to branch out since I haven't met any cool girls here at all. I mean, the girls here are hot and everything, and I've always had this preference for Asian chicks since my step-dad showed me this super fucked-up Japanese porno, but they walk around like they all got a bug in their asses or something.
I'm here on this totally sweet teaching gig. It's the easiest bucks I ever made since that summer I dealt weed a camp. I had this great system where my brother would sneak it into my mom's care packages from home if I promised to let him look at my Hustlers when I came back. God, he was such a fucking retard. Anyways, that was a good summer. I got one of the counselors stoned and she let me go under the shirt. She was like 20 and I was just 16, which was the first, but trust me not last, time I ever felt tit (I'm not counting when I had to pull my cousin out of the bathtub that time she overdosed. Her tits weren't even that good, maybe a 6 at best). Mostly, I just play the kids episodes of the Simpsons and try to keep them from sticking their fingers in the electrical sockets, most of the time pretty successfully I might add. I got plenty of money too, and I can't even find a way to spend it. I mean, there's like no weed here at all, which frees up like half my budget right there, and every time I go to bars there's always some old dude who wants to practice his English buying me drinks. At first I thought there was something a little fruity about that, but those dudes usually pass out after the fifth beer so I don't gotta worry about them getting all gay with me.
But it's hard finding cool chicks here, man. I mean, there's plenty of Korean girls who want a little American steel (I'm talking about my penis), but they all want to go out to dinner and chat on the internet and hold hands in public and shit. Slamming some chick was a lot easier back home, when we'd just hang in the berm behind the YMCA and huff wood varnish till one of us blacked out. I woke up with no money plenty of times, but I also slammed some of the hottest chicks in town too, so it was an equal trade. Hell, with my tolerance to varnish I'd say it was more like 70-30 in my favor. The only chick that could regularly keep up with me was Kira Watson, but that wasn't no loss since everyone knew she got crabs from Jesse Miller anyways.
So I might be kinda a playboy but I figure this is no one's maiden voyage, if you know what I mean (I mean sex). The one time I slammed a virgin she kept calling and showing up at my house and acting all clingy and shit, so I definitely don't want that. I had to promise to meet her out in farm country, then leave her ass there without a ride home to finally get the message across. Last I heard, she killed herself, so I guess I dodged a bullet by getting rid of some crazy chick sooner rather than later.
That said, if you're not crazy, not a virgin, and totally down to party, let's hook up.
•Location: Seoul
•it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1877990202
Friday, July 16, 2010
RE: Bad Boy Gone Good OR Street Smart, Smart Ass, Survivor with Class
Bad Boy Gone Good OR Street Smart, Smart Ass, Survivor with Class - w4m - 19 (Denver)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-07-14, 4:12PM MDT
Reply to: pers-XXXXXXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've got a master's degree from a good school, I've traveled extensively internationally, I'm bona fide and certified and I use correct grammar habitually. My Problem? The men I "should" be dating bore me to tears. My type seems to be the self-made, driven, still street-smart-but-have-moved-beyond-my-neighborhood-because-I-don't-need-the-hassle-anymore sort of man . . . The kind of man who could probably win in a bar fight every time even now but who chooses not to because he's over that shit.
Have you reached a certain age but nobody would guess (by that I mean probably 19's and 50's) how old you are? Do you have wisdom and youthfulness and sheer persistence? Are you somebody who was (is) always smart and quick and living on the edge but who has made his way into a more comfortable existence because you've just grown out of it (and no, I don't mean support me, I mean know which fucking fork to use in a nice restaurant and don't have a tattoo on your neck) and you want to live peacefully now?
E-mail me . . . I have accepted that you are my type and I am looking for someone who can love me ferociously while I love you back.
Location: Denver
PostingID: 1843301383
Colin Heintze to pers-XXXXXXXXXXXX. (2 minutes ago)
Anton Kimble Blackwater at your service!
I must admit, your challenge sang to me like a siren! I find myself drawn to your rocky shores, though like the hardy seamen of antiquity I can expect awaiting peril - that is what the Lapp medium read in the entrails during my last annual vision quest.
But enough of boring you with the minutia of my life! Allow me to introduce myself: I am Anton Kimble Blackwater, heir to the Blackwater Industrial, Antiquities, and Space Flight Research Concerns. I say with equal parts intrigue and sadness that I may - by Plutarch's beard! - be somewhat beneath your standards, though that you have such lofty requirements speaks to the uncompromising nature of undiluted blue-blooded aristocracy! That is why, though I stand before you humbled, I have chosen to return your overture with the fervor of a Kipchak boy singing his first courtship song outside the yurt of his beloved. For, you see, I too have known the sting of seeking romance among those who are beneath me. Perhaps my mother's blood peddles its influence on me - after all, she was but a simple Spanish wet nurse who, by way of her preternatural goodness, was able to win the heart of my father, the venerable rubber magnate and gentleman adventurer Henry Blackwater. It is this dilution of the Blackwater lineage which, I believe, has always given me a certain fondness for the lower classes. That, and my education in Berber caravans and Levantine opium dens gave me a certain worldliness few Blackwaters have had the benefit of.
But, how can I find love when I am continually presented with the ordinary and mundane? Of all my conquests, scarcely a dozen had ever lived among the savage tribes of Papua, ran a multi-billion-dollar business, or felt the smooth, downy comfort of a night's sleep neath' a snow-leopard pelt. Why should I settle for a lover who is merely fit for a Duke, when I deserve one fit for a Blackwater!
True to your requirements, I was quite rakish in my youth. Though I shun the obscenity of physical violence, I am quite capable of its execution. Half-brother Cecil - damn the rogue! - has seen to that. Not a month goes by in which he does not try to relieve me of our father's fortune, and many the fiendish Dayak and Hussite assassins have met their ends at my hands. My expertise in the martial sciences and esoteric magicks, however, has not lately been put on display. I am, as you hoped, no longer prone to engaging in bouts of combat. Since taking Man-servant Mandalay into my employ, foiling Cecil's attempts has become his area of providence. These days, I mostly amuse myself by administering the many charities in the Blackwater Trust and researching a dull assortment of quantum particles and metaphysical phenomenon.
Come, deliver me from this tedium! Let us share yarns of our ancestors in the Carolingian line; let us watch the moon rising over the canopy of the Orinco; let us match wits in frivolous, world-spanning contests (first to find the Jade Osprey wins!). I am waiting for you!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-07-14, 4:12PM MDT
Reply to: pers-XXXXXXXXXXXX@craigslist.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I've got a master's degree from a good school, I've traveled extensively internationally, I'm bona fide and certified and I use correct grammar habitually. My Problem? The men I "should" be dating bore me to tears. My type seems to be the self-made, driven, still street-smart-but-have-moved-beyond-my-neighborhood-because-I-don't-need-the-hassle-anymore sort of man . . . The kind of man who could probably win in a bar fight every time even now but who chooses not to because he's over that shit.
Have you reached a certain age but nobody would guess (by that I mean probably 19's and 50's) how old you are? Do you have wisdom and youthfulness and sheer persistence? Are you somebody who was (is) always smart and quick and living on the edge but who has made his way into a more comfortable existence because you've just grown out of it (and no, I don't mean support me, I mean know which fucking fork to use in a nice restaurant and don't have a tattoo on your neck) and you want to live peacefully now?
E-mail me . . . I have accepted that you are my type and I am looking for someone who can love me ferociously while I love you back.
Location: Denver
PostingID: 1843301383
Colin Heintze to pers-XXXXXXXXXXXX. (2 minutes ago)
Anton Kimble Blackwater at your service!
I must admit, your challenge sang to me like a siren! I find myself drawn to your rocky shores, though like the hardy seamen of antiquity I can expect awaiting peril - that is what the Lapp medium read in the entrails during my last annual vision quest.
But enough of boring you with the minutia of my life! Allow me to introduce myself: I am Anton Kimble Blackwater, heir to the Blackwater Industrial, Antiquities, and Space Flight Research Concerns. I say with equal parts intrigue and sadness that I may - by Plutarch's beard! - be somewhat beneath your standards, though that you have such lofty requirements speaks to the uncompromising nature of undiluted blue-blooded aristocracy! That is why, though I stand before you humbled, I have chosen to return your overture with the fervor of a Kipchak boy singing his first courtship song outside the yurt of his beloved. For, you see, I too have known the sting of seeking romance among those who are beneath me. Perhaps my mother's blood peddles its influence on me - after all, she was but a simple Spanish wet nurse who, by way of her preternatural goodness, was able to win the heart of my father, the venerable rubber magnate and gentleman adventurer Henry Blackwater. It is this dilution of the Blackwater lineage which, I believe, has always given me a certain fondness for the lower classes. That, and my education in Berber caravans and Levantine opium dens gave me a certain worldliness few Blackwaters have had the benefit of.
But, how can I find love when I am continually presented with the ordinary and mundane? Of all my conquests, scarcely a dozen had ever lived among the savage tribes of Papua, ran a multi-billion-dollar business, or felt the smooth, downy comfort of a night's sleep neath' a snow-leopard pelt. Why should I settle for a lover who is merely fit for a Duke, when I deserve one fit for a Blackwater!
True to your requirements, I was quite rakish in my youth. Though I shun the obscenity of physical violence, I am quite capable of its execution. Half-brother Cecil - damn the rogue! - has seen to that. Not a month goes by in which he does not try to relieve me of our father's fortune, and many the fiendish Dayak and Hussite assassins have met their ends at my hands. My expertise in the martial sciences and esoteric magicks, however, has not lately been put on display. I am, as you hoped, no longer prone to engaging in bouts of combat. Since taking Man-servant Mandalay into my employ, foiling Cecil's attempts has become his area of providence. These days, I mostly amuse myself by administering the many charities in the Blackwater Trust and researching a dull assortment of quantum particles and metaphysical phenomenon.
Come, deliver me from this tedium! Let us share yarns of our ancestors in the Carolingian line; let us watch the moon rising over the canopy of the Orinco; let us match wits in frivolous, world-spanning contests (first to find the Jade Osprey wins!). I am waiting for you!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
More Responses!
Amanda to pers-f9hr5-181.
12:44 PM (23 hours ago)
lol! wow lot's of extra time
Colin Heintze to Amanda
2:55 PM (21 hours ago)
I dare you to make less sense!
Amanda to me
3:41 PM (20 hours ago)
yes absolutely lots + of + extra + time = super confusing LOL ,,,you just keep maintenance of your little craigslist page on "hipsters" .
Colin Heintze to Amanda
5:10 PM (19 hours ago)
Sorry, when you said "lot's" of extra time I thought the extra time belonged to lot, and the only lot I could think of was the Lot from Sodom and Gomorrah, which naturally made me think about sodomy, which made me count backwards from ten until the urges were gone just like the court-appointed psychologist taught me. Still, I have no idea what you are talking about... what is the subject of "lot's of extra time?" Me? The post? Lot from The Bible? Maybe he had extra time because his wife was turned into a pillar of salt and wasn't always all "Lot, I want more slaves." or "Lot, buy me that ionic air purifier from the Sharper Image." (I haven't actually read the Bible). Help me out here?
Amanda to me
9:11 PM (15 hours ago)
this should help
http://lewovale.t35.com/
Colin Heintze to Amanda
12:26 PM (16 minutes ago)
And here's a website you might find useful:
http://suicidehotlines.com/
12:44 PM (23 hours ago)
lol! wow lot's of extra time
Colin Heintze to Amanda
2:55 PM (21 hours ago)
I dare you to make less sense!
Amanda to me
3:41 PM (20 hours ago)
yes absolutely lots + of + extra + time = super confusing LOL ,,,you just keep maintenance of your little craigslist page on "hipsters" .
Colin Heintze to Amanda
5:10 PM (19 hours ago)
Sorry, when you said "lot's" of extra time I thought the extra time belonged to lot, and the only lot I could think of was the Lot from Sodom and Gomorrah, which naturally made me think about sodomy, which made me count backwards from ten until the urges were gone just like the court-appointed psychologist taught me. Still, I have no idea what you are talking about... what is the subject of "lot's of extra time?" Me? The post? Lot from The Bible? Maybe he had extra time because his wife was turned into a pillar of salt and wasn't always all "Lot, I want more slaves." or "Lot, buy me that ionic air purifier from the Sharper Image." (I haven't actually read the Bible). Help me out here?
Amanda to me
9:11 PM (15 hours ago)
this should help
http://lewovale.t35.com/
Colin Heintze to Amanda
12:26 PM (16 minutes ago)
And here's a website you might find useful:
http://suicidehotlines.com/
Response!
XXXXXXXXXXXX to pers-f9hr5-181.
show details 3:08 AM (16 hours ago)
Hi My name is XXXXXXXXX. Or you can call me XXXXXX.
I just read you post and..What's wrong with the word "hipster"?! ;$ They are
cute and hot. and well I don't know, I think I am kinda the type of girl?
I am Korean..but I love Zooey Deschanel girl. !!
I am 24yo, university graduated, fun, down to earth, easy going, into art, fashion,
books(...my major was library science, because I love books Or I loved..well yeah
I am more into the fashion megazines), taking pictures, watching movies, going
to bars or live clubs, chat over tea, drinking at the parks, also love rock/blues and even some electronic.
I was in Vancouver, Toronto, Motreal in Canada for almost 2 years. I worked,
traveled and took some courses there. I came back to Korea in Feb.
Now I am looking for a guy to hang out with. and I think you are cool. So Let me
know If you want to know more about me, I hope to hear from you soon!
Colin Heintze to XXXXXXXXXXXX
show details 6:12 AM (13 hours ago)
Awesome. You lived in Canada? Canada is so much better than the war-mongering and materialistic United States. America just has no culture - it's all about MTV and Walmart and Starbucks on every corner, not like Canada which has... well, I'm sure Canada has something going on. Other countries are really cultural, and I hope to someday visit them so that I may begin sentences with "When I was in Italy...", or that I may unfavorably compare our public transportation to that in France.
So yeah, let's hang out. Now, I should tell you I'm going to show up at least a half-hour late, since I usually don't wake up before 2pm and, after that, it takes several hours to style my hair to achieve the look of being unkempt and uncared-for. When we finally meet and sit down together you will be treated with a fusillade of criticisms concerning the "bourgeois" decor, terrible imported beer selection, and music of whatever venue we have our little rendezvous. I will then proceed to talk about myself in what less credulous minds would most likely perceive as a never-ending stream of verbal excrement, including unsubstantiated claims to have met celebrities, pretenses of creativity, and affected indifference to your interests and opinions. When, at last, I run out of self-aggrandizing gas, I will take the time to disapprove of everything you like, thus giving you a subconscious desire to appease me by reciprocating my increasingly aggressive sexual rhetoric.
If everything goes well, by the end of the night you might see my tats. No, not the ones on my arms you can see due to my insistence on never wearing a shirt with sleeves, but the OTHER ones (if you know what I mean). I have one that says "truth" in Japanese, a Celtic cross, and one of Jermaine from Flight of the Concords I got one night when me and homeboy Bradley were spaced on DMT.
show details 3:08 AM (16 hours ago)
Hi My name is XXXXXXXXX. Or you can call me XXXXXX.
I just read you post and..What's wrong with the word "hipster"?! ;$ They are
cute and hot. and well I don't know, I think I am kinda the type of girl?
I am Korean..but I love Zooey Deschanel girl. !!
I am 24yo, university graduated, fun, down to earth, easy going, into art, fashion,
books(...my major was library science, because I love books Or I loved..well yeah
I am more into the fashion megazines), taking pictures, watching movies, going
to bars or live clubs, chat over tea, drinking at the parks, also love rock/blues and even some electronic.
I was in Vancouver, Toronto, Motreal in Canada for almost 2 years. I worked,
traveled and took some courses there. I came back to Korea in Feb.
Now I am looking for a guy to hang out with. and I think you are cool. So Let me
know If you want to know more about me, I hope to hear from you soon!
Colin Heintze to XXXXXXXXXXXX
show details 6:12 AM (13 hours ago)
Awesome. You lived in Canada? Canada is so much better than the war-mongering and materialistic United States. America just has no culture - it's all about MTV and Walmart and Starbucks on every corner, not like Canada which has... well, I'm sure Canada has something going on. Other countries are really cultural, and I hope to someday visit them so that I may begin sentences with "When I was in Italy...", or that I may unfavorably compare our public transportation to that in France.
So yeah, let's hang out. Now, I should tell you I'm going to show up at least a half-hour late, since I usually don't wake up before 2pm and, after that, it takes several hours to style my hair to achieve the look of being unkempt and uncared-for. When we finally meet and sit down together you will be treated with a fusillade of criticisms concerning the "bourgeois" decor, terrible imported beer selection, and music of whatever venue we have our little rendezvous. I will then proceed to talk about myself in what less credulous minds would most likely perceive as a never-ending stream of verbal excrement, including unsubstantiated claims to have met celebrities, pretenses of creativity, and affected indifference to your interests and opinions. When, at last, I run out of self-aggrandizing gas, I will take the time to disapprove of everything you like, thus giving you a subconscious desire to appease me by reciprocating my increasingly aggressive sexual rhetoric.
If everything goes well, by the end of the night you might see my tats. No, not the ones on my arms you can see due to my insistence on never wearing a shirt with sleeves, but the OTHER ones (if you know what I mean). I have one that says "truth" in Japanese, a Celtic cross, and one of Jermaine from Flight of the Concords I got one night when me and homeboy Bradley were spaced on DMT.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Hipster and Proud!
Hipster and Proud! - 26 (Seoul)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-07-01, 12:15AM KST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not going to hide it, not anymore! For too long the word "hipster" has been a hurtful and uncool pejorative used to discriminate against me and my friends. Well, I'm here to say that I'm a hipster, I'm looking for a quirky Zooey Deschanel-type girl, and I'm not ashamed of it!
I'm really into music, duh, except heavy metal or country - unless its done ironically, because its okay to like thing as long as you are mocking, and thus inherently superior to, them. I'm especially into local bands since, if they ever make it big, I can proclaim that I liked them back when they were still playing in dive bars for drink tickets (before expressing my disgust at their selling out). I'm also addicted to fashion, which provides me with a great opportunity to sate my constant need for one-upmanship. That V-neck is the latest from American Apparrel? Hell, mine is so new they haven't even released it yet. Those Chucks are early 80's vintage? Well mine are late 70's more vintage. No matter what you're into, I'll always find a way to insert a comment implying you are just on the other side of the cutting edge.
I also care a lot about causes. Poor urban minorities. Impoverished farmers in Latin America. Ethnic cleansing in Africa. In fact, there is almost no subject I'm unwilling to loudly ruminate about, and no opinion too uninformed for me to vehemently advocate. And, should it be proposed that I have an extremely simplistic world view tainted by a profound lack of cultural, historical, and economic perspective, I will use one of several pre-arranged quotes from an obscure Serbian anarchist I keep on hand just for moments like those. Why? Because I care. I care enough to move into poor urban neighborhoods and show I have unlimited compassion for the working class matching my a puerile need for street cred. Then, when all my friends move to the neighborhood and drive out the locals with skyrocketing property values, I can grouse in a series of jeremiads about how much the place has changed and just isn't "real" anymore.
Now, a lot of people say that hipsters don't read anything other than Chuck Palahniuk or Vice Magazine, but I read plenty of other stuff as well. Mostly, I read books that are about to be turned into a movie - especially if it's a movie by Wes Anderson, Spike Jonze, or David Fincher - so I can complain to everybody that the book was better than the film version. I also skim through works by Camu, Foucault, and Gide in order to drop their names into conversations regardless of whether it fits naturally into the dialogue or not. I'm even planning on writing a novel some day, along with making a film and starting a band, despite lacking any of the disciplined work-ethic or basic creative mechanics required to undertake such ventures.
Now, some of you might wonder how someone in their mid-twenties who has never had a job can afford to go to clubs every night and live in a 5,000 square-foot loft apartment. First off, I do have a job. I keep a party blog and, twice a month, I contribute music reviews to this totally indie underground zine. Second, work is for people who aren't creative, proactive, and aware like I am - people like my parents, who worked for decades to support my bohemian lifestyle.
Physically, I'm horribly ugly. I get no exercise outside of bike rallies and games of kickball, have facial hair reminiscent of a 19th-century longshoreman, and live in utterly debased, unhygienic conditions. But, all of that doesn't matter, because I'm an artist, an intellectual, and an activist. You'll know that's true because I will never stop telling you about it.
So, don't listen to all the haters that say me, and people like me, are just self-obsessed nihilists incapable of showing genuine sentiment or doing anything creative beyond simple commentary. We're here, we're now, and we're not going anywhere... unless a new trend comes around.
BTW, got any coke?
Location: Seoul
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1818887021
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2010-07-01, 12:15AM KST
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm not going to hide it, not anymore! For too long the word "hipster" has been a hurtful and uncool pejorative used to discriminate against me and my friends. Well, I'm here to say that I'm a hipster, I'm looking for a quirky Zooey Deschanel-type girl, and I'm not ashamed of it!
I'm really into music, duh, except heavy metal or country - unless its done ironically, because its okay to like thing as long as you are mocking, and thus inherently superior to, them. I'm especially into local bands since, if they ever make it big, I can proclaim that I liked them back when they were still playing in dive bars for drink tickets (before expressing my disgust at their selling out). I'm also addicted to fashion, which provides me with a great opportunity to sate my constant need for one-upmanship. That V-neck is the latest from American Apparrel? Hell, mine is so new they haven't even released it yet. Those Chucks are early 80's vintage? Well mine are late 70's more vintage. No matter what you're into, I'll always find a way to insert a comment implying you are just on the other side of the cutting edge.
I also care a lot about causes. Poor urban minorities. Impoverished farmers in Latin America. Ethnic cleansing in Africa. In fact, there is almost no subject I'm unwilling to loudly ruminate about, and no opinion too uninformed for me to vehemently advocate. And, should it be proposed that I have an extremely simplistic world view tainted by a profound lack of cultural, historical, and economic perspective, I will use one of several pre-arranged quotes from an obscure Serbian anarchist I keep on hand just for moments like those. Why? Because I care. I care enough to move into poor urban neighborhoods and show I have unlimited compassion for the working class matching my a puerile need for street cred. Then, when all my friends move to the neighborhood and drive out the locals with skyrocketing property values, I can grouse in a series of jeremiads about how much the place has changed and just isn't "real" anymore.
Now, a lot of people say that hipsters don't read anything other than Chuck Palahniuk or Vice Magazine, but I read plenty of other stuff as well. Mostly, I read books that are about to be turned into a movie - especially if it's a movie by Wes Anderson, Spike Jonze, or David Fincher - so I can complain to everybody that the book was better than the film version. I also skim through works by Camu, Foucault, and Gide in order to drop their names into conversations regardless of whether it fits naturally into the dialogue or not. I'm even planning on writing a novel some day, along with making a film and starting a band, despite lacking any of the disciplined work-ethic or basic creative mechanics required to undertake such ventures.
Now, some of you might wonder how someone in their mid-twenties who has never had a job can afford to go to clubs every night and live in a 5,000 square-foot loft apartment. First off, I do have a job. I keep a party blog and, twice a month, I contribute music reviews to this totally indie underground zine. Second, work is for people who aren't creative, proactive, and aware like I am - people like my parents, who worked for decades to support my bohemian lifestyle.
Physically, I'm horribly ugly. I get no exercise outside of bike rallies and games of kickball, have facial hair reminiscent of a 19th-century longshoreman, and live in utterly debased, unhygienic conditions. But, all of that doesn't matter, because I'm an artist, an intellectual, and an activist. You'll know that's true because I will never stop telling you about it.
So, don't listen to all the haters that say me, and people like me, are just self-obsessed nihilists incapable of showing genuine sentiment or doing anything creative beyond simple commentary. We're here, we're now, and we're not going anywhere... unless a new trend comes around.
BTW, got any coke?
Location: Seoul
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1818887021
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Epic Date Fail Now on Facebook
So, Epic Date Fail is now on the second most depressing site on the interweb: facebook. So, if you are one of the millions of folk who is unable to have a real, non-electronic human relationship, head on over to the facebook page and become a fan(or make another friend that will inevitably disappoint you)!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
