Friday, July 16, 2010

RE: Bad Boy Gone Good OR Street Smart, Smart Ass, Survivor with Class

Bad Boy Gone Good OR Street Smart, Smart Ass, Survivor with Class - w4m - 19 (Denver)
Date: 2010-07-14, 4:12PM MDT

Reply to:
I've got a master's degree from a good school, I've traveled extensively internationally, I'm bona fide and certified and I use correct grammar habitually. My Problem? The men I "should" be dating bore me to tears. My type seems to be the self-made, driven, still street-smart-but-have-moved-beyond-my-neighborhood-because-I-don't-need-the-hassle-anymore sort of man . . . The kind of man who could probably win in a bar fight every time even now but who chooses not to because he's over that shit.

Have you reached a certain age but nobody would guess (by that I mean probably 19's and 50's) how old you are? Do you have wisdom and youthfulness and sheer persistence? Are you somebody who was (is) always smart and quick and living on the edge but who has made his way into a more comfortable existence because you've just grown out of it (and no, I don't mean support me, I mean know which fucking fork to use in a nice restaurant and don't have a tattoo on your neck) and you want to live peacefully now?

E-mail me . . . I have accepted that you are my type and I am looking for someone who can love me ferociously while I love you back.

Location: Denver

PostingID: 1843301383

Colin Heintze to pers-XXXXXXXXXXXX. (2 minutes ago)

Anton Kimble Blackwater at your service!

I must admit, your challenge sang to me like a siren! I find myself drawn to your rocky shores, though like the hardy seamen of antiquity I can expect awaiting peril - that is what the Lapp medium read in the entrails during my last annual vision quest.

But enough of boring you with the minutia of my life! Allow me to introduce myself: I am Anton Kimble Blackwater, heir to the Blackwater Industrial, Antiquities, and Space Flight Research Concerns. I say with equal parts intrigue and sadness that I may - by Plutarch's beard! - be somewhat beneath your standards, though that you have such lofty requirements speaks to the uncompromising nature of undiluted blue-blooded aristocracy! That is why, though I stand before you humbled, I have chosen to return your overture with the fervor of a Kipchak boy singing his first courtship song outside the yurt of his beloved. For, you see, I too have known the sting of seeking romance among those who are beneath me. Perhaps my mother's blood peddles its influence on me - after all, she was but a simple Spanish wet nurse who, by way of her preternatural goodness, was able to win the heart of my father, the venerable rubber magnate and gentleman adventurer Henry Blackwater. It is this dilution of the Blackwater lineage which, I believe, has always given me a certain fondness for the lower classes. That, and my education in Berber caravans and Levantine opium dens gave me a certain worldliness few Blackwaters have had the benefit of.

But, how can I find love when I am continually presented with the ordinary and mundane? Of all my conquests, scarcely a dozen had ever lived among the savage tribes of Papua, ran a multi-billion-dollar business, or felt the smooth, downy comfort of a night's sleep neath' a snow-leopard pelt. Why should I settle for a lover who is merely fit for a Duke, when I deserve one fit for a Blackwater!

True to your requirements, I was quite rakish in my youth. Though I shun the obscenity of physical violence, I am quite capable of its execution. Half-brother Cecil - damn the rogue! - has seen to that. Not a month goes by in which he does not try to relieve me of our father's fortune, and many the fiendish Dayak and Hussite assassins have met their ends at my hands. My expertise in the martial sciences and esoteric magicks, however, has not lately been put on display. I am, as you hoped, no longer prone to engaging in bouts of combat. Since taking Man-servant Mandalay into my employ, foiling Cecil's attempts has become his area of providence. These days, I mostly amuse myself by administering the many charities in the Blackwater Trust and researching a dull assortment of quantum particles and metaphysical phenomenon.

Come, deliver me from this tedium! Let us share yarns of our ancestors in the Carolingian line; let us watch the moon rising over the canopy of the Orinco; let us match wits in frivolous, world-spanning contests (first to find the Jade Osprey wins!). I am waiting for you!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

More Responses!

Amanda to pers-f9hr5-181.
12:44 PM (23 hours ago)

lol! wow lot's of extra time

Colin Heintze to Amanda

2:55 PM (21 hours ago)

I dare you to make less sense!

Amanda to me
3:41 PM (20 hours ago)

yes absolutely lots + of + extra + time = super confusing LOL ,,,you just keep maintenance of your little craigslist page on "hipsters" .

Colin Heintze to Amanda
5:10 PM (19 hours ago)

Sorry, when you said "lot's" of extra time I thought the extra time belonged to lot, and the only lot I could think of was the Lot from Sodom and Gomorrah, which naturally made me think about sodomy, which made me count backwards from ten until the urges were gone just like the court-appointed psychologist taught me. Still, I have no idea what you are talking about... what is the subject of "lot's of extra time?" Me? The post? Lot from The Bible? Maybe he had extra time because his wife was turned into a pillar of salt and wasn't always all "Lot, I want more slaves." or "Lot, buy me that ionic air purifier from the Sharper Image." (I haven't actually read the Bible). Help me out here?

Amanda to me
9:11 PM (15 hours ago)

this should help

Colin Heintze to Amanda

12:26 PM (16 minutes ago)

And here's a website you might find useful:


XXXXXXXXXXXX to pers-f9hr5-181.
show details 3:08 AM (16 hours ago)

Hi My name is XXXXXXXXX. Or you can call me XXXXXX.

I just read you post and..What's wrong with the word "hipster"?! ;$ They are
cute and hot. and well I don't know, I think I am kinda the type of girl?
I am Korean..but I love Zooey Deschanel girl. !!

I am 24yo, university graduated, fun, down to earth, easy going, into art, fashion,
books( major was library science, because I love books Or I loved..well yeah
I am more into the fashion megazines), taking pictures, watching movies, going
to bars or live clubs, chat over tea, drinking at the parks, also love rock/blues and even some electronic.

I was in Vancouver, Toronto, Motreal in Canada for almost 2 years. I worked,
traveled and took some courses there. I came back to Korea in Feb.
Now I am looking for a guy to hang out with. and I think you are cool. So Let me
know If you want to know more about me, I hope to hear from you soon!

Colin Heintze to XXXXXXXXXXXX
show details 6:12 AM (13 hours ago)

Awesome. You lived in Canada? Canada is so much better than the war-mongering and materialistic United States. America just has no culture - it's all about MTV and Walmart and Starbucks on every corner, not like Canada which has... well, I'm sure Canada has something going on. Other countries are really cultural, and I hope to someday visit them so that I may begin sentences with "When I was in Italy...", or that I may unfavorably compare our public transportation to that in France.

So yeah, let's hang out. Now, I should tell you I'm going to show up at least a half-hour late, since I usually don't wake up before 2pm and, after that, it takes several hours to style my hair to achieve the look of being unkempt and uncared-for. When we finally meet and sit down together you will be treated with a fusillade of criticisms concerning the "bourgeois" decor, terrible imported beer selection, and music of whatever venue we have our little rendezvous. I will then proceed to talk about myself in what less credulous minds would most likely perceive as a never-ending stream of verbal excrement, including unsubstantiated claims to have met celebrities, pretenses of creativity, and affected indifference to your interests and opinions. When, at last, I run out of self-aggrandizing gas, I will take the time to disapprove of everything you like, thus giving you a subconscious desire to appease me by reciprocating my increasingly aggressive sexual rhetoric.

If everything goes well, by the end of the night you might see my tats. No, not the ones on my arms you can see due to my insistence on never wearing a shirt with sleeves, but the OTHER ones (if you know what I mean). I have one that says "truth" in Japanese, a Celtic cross, and one of Jermaine from Flight of the Concords I got one night when me and homeboy Bradley were spaced on DMT.