Thursday, December 23, 2010

RE: Submissive seeks direction, control, and guidance

Submissive seeks direction, control, and guidance - 22 (Vail Valley)

Date: 2010-12-23, 9:26PM MST
Reply to:

22 year old directionless ski bum seeks older, mature, experienced long-term companion capable of providing direction, control, and guidance. I am ideally seeking someone who has the time to invest in me and is willing to mold me into the person that I aught to be. Not looking for a no-strings attached or one-night stand type relationship. Please be single - married, engaged, in a relationship is NOT acceptable. You should be experienced in this type of relationship (I am not but eager to learn), trust-worthy, and mature. Willing to answer questions and discuss further. Please read above before contacting.

Location: Vail Valley
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2127810331

RE: Submissive seeks direction, control, and guidance

Colin Heintze to pers-kxuxx-212.
show details 12:52 AM (5 minutes ago)

Hello, my name is Park Jin Soo, regional sales manager of Samsung Corporation and recent transplant to Denver. I was so happy to see your post – in the four months I’ve lived in America, I haven’t had much luck with the women here. I liked things much better at home, where women only went to college for three reasons: to become a flight attendant, a hairdresser, or to meet a husband with earning potential. These American girls… why, they are more like boys, what with their interests, opinions, and ambition!

I mean, the one and only woman I slept with here had an orgasm. An orgasm! I want someone to keep a tidy household, not some whore.

That’s why I was so happy to read your post. Women here just don’t know how to be women, how to be told what to do by older males until they are perfectly molded into a narrowly-defined, socially acceptable vision of proper femininity. Women should know not to speak out of turn. A woman’s top priority should be to keep a neat and attractive physical appearance. And, for god’s sake, when I come home from a twelve-hour shift at the company my parents shaped me since birth to work at, there had better be some fucking kimchee on the table. Since you’ll only really be allowed to leave the home to go grocery shopping, it shouldn’t be so hard to put a little kimchee in a bowl on the floor for when I arrive home after a night of heavy consumption and whoring at one of my company’s many mandatory drinking parties.

Anyways, I think I can give you the direction your life is needing. We Koreans are experts of the life plan. Let’s see… you’re 22, so you should just be graduating from Stanford with a degree in business finance, right? That means sometime last year you lost your virginity to your platonic boyfriend after he got drunk and date-raped you in the back seat of his car. Thus, you should be married within the next three years, preferably to a rising young star in the Hyundai, Lotte, or Samsung companies. Hmmm…. I wonder who is a rising star in one of those companies? Oh, that’s right, I am. So, I suppose this is the right time to ask:

In three years, will you marry me? I want you to be the mother of my two children, four and six years from now, respectively. Keep in mind, in eighteen months I’ll be getting a promotion, based, of course, entirely off seniority and not actual job performance, so I’ll be able to keep you in fashion magazines and handbags. How about it? Wanna take a ride on the K-train?

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