Any Real Men Out There?

Any Real Men Out There? - 24 (D-Town)
Date: 2010-01-05, 7:36AM MST

Wassup, homeboys? I don know about this internet stuff, since I thought only pussies use this shit, but my homegirl Erika told me to go here if was wantin for a man and I would find one quick – and Erika smart as hell, she’s the one who told me that if I’m under a certain income I can write off food and diapers on my tax return, so now wit all the money I’m savin on taxes I can afford to work less an party more.

So yeah, I want a man, but like not one that’s a total pussy. A dude like my ex Kurt. That fucker cheated on me left an right an one time he even tried to cook meth in my hallway closet but DAMN he was cut, like nine inches and long-lasting too.

I got two kids tho, so I don’t be needing no deadbeats like there daddies were. Kayla, she’s the seven year-old, always seems to get into everything. Last week I come home from a shift at the Rite-Aid an there’s flour an eggs and shit all over the floor. She’s just smiling an says “look I made you dinner, mommy!” Well you’d better believe I gave her a whoopin an made her clean that shit up. She even made this card for me wit me an her standin under a rainbow an used my good lipstick to color in the red. I had to wait a half hour after my shift was over for homegirl Yvonne to come in and watch out for the manager while I swiped that shit from the cosmetics counter, so you’d best believe I was pissed about that. The other kid Brandine, the baby, is pretty cool, tho sometimes her coughin keep me up all night.

Oh shit, I forgot I got one more kid. He ain’t really mine, but I’ve been lookin after him since his daddy, my ex-boyfriend Ray, got sent up for a totally BULLSHIT possession with intent to distribute charge. The only reason the shit was in different bags was cause he wanted to keep the good stuff separated from the schwag. Anyways, Ray Jr. is ten years old, I think. I don see much of him anyways, cause he just kind of comes and goes as he pleases. Sometimes I worry about him but he always finds a way in even after I had the locks changed cause my Xanax kept on coming up short. Shit, last time I saw him he had a new pair of sneakers, an even I ain’t had no new sneakers in like three years now.

You shouldn’t worry about the kids tho, cause I usually give them some Tylenol PM at eight and their out by nine so mommy can get a little space to herself. So, anytime after like 8:30 is cool. I just got my paycheck from the Rite Aid so I’ve got a whole freezer full of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and Hamburger Helper, so there’s lots we can do if you just wanna come over an chill. But keep in mine that I’m not running some kind of welfare here, so if you wanna eat my Hamburger Helper an drink my booze you gotta chip in a little money or some dank weed or a few lines is all I’m askin. Plus, if you got any kids of your own don’t bring them over cause Kayla’s had an eye infection for like three weeks an I’m pretty sure that shit is contagious. Holla at ya soon!



* Location: D-Town
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