We here at Epic Date Fail pride ourselves for our strict adherence to tradition. Humble, reverent Christmas celebrations. Apple pies cooling on an autumn windowsill. The systematic disenfranchisement of women and minorities. Those sorts of things.
You may be surprised to learn, then, that we are making some changes around here. You may have noticed the new layout, which we'll keep if we decide we like it. There's also a link section, where you can visit other sites I like (and look at porn, as if you needed me for that). It's all an attempt to, over time, give you the loyal reader a little more content to enjoy. The number of daily page views has recently become staggering, so to reward you for your patronage expect a little more in the months to come.
Another new change is that we are now accepting submissions. You read the blog, so you know what we like. Make it funny, unusual, and something we haven't seen before. Make sure your character is insane, but slowly uncover the extent of your character's insanity until the reveal at the end. Most of all, don't be afraid to dip your feet into literary genres or social stereotypes. You can expect a response within a week. If I decide to publish it, you absolutely must post it on your local craigslist. That is non-negotiable. If I don't publish it, realize it is because you have no talent and you will probably die alone and in crushing poverty. To submit, Email me at email@example.com.
The last change is that I will be accepting links. If you know of, or own, a cool blog or website I will link it to Epic Date Fail, provided you pay me the same courtesy. Smart, funny, and interesting content is often hard to spot in a sea of penis-cream ads and videos of children being kicked in the groin. We classy, sophisticated sites need to stick together.