The way I see it... - 24 (Downtown Sorta)
Reply to: email@example.com [?]
Date: 2009-02-08, 7:22PM MST
So Valentines Day...thats right this coming weekend...should be under new managment...
I think the tooth fairy should run this bitch!
I think you should be able to go to bed, put a pube under your pillow, (not neccasarily yours but why would you have someone else's pube on hand?) and when you wake up it will have been traded for an orgasm lol....everybody wins right?!
How aweosome would it be to wake up to an orgasm! lol
and if you are really good you can have your choice of one of the following extras (cigarette, rose, chocolate)
I think this is genius...personally....
however we all know this will never be the way it is, but a girl can dream right? ;)
Anyway, if you can offer something similar to this or better, let me know who you are looking for because maybe Im it!
Location: Downtown Sorta
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Colin Heintze to pers-1026743915
Dear PERS-1026743915 of DENVER, CO, a mutual friend told me about your interest in ORGASMS and I thought I'd make you aware of some exciting new offers!
For the last five years, the MaxPleasure female sex aid has been the best selling sex aid in over twelve major regions, including DENVER, CO. The MaxPleasure's popularity lies in its patented hyperrealistic technology - so realistic, in fact, that many women don't know a man isn't there with them! Just listen to this satisfied customer:
Before MaxPleasure came along, I had crippling sexual anxiety. The thought of exposing my naked body to a man's judging eyes meant I usually pursued older or overweight men who seemed less likely to be appalled by my body. Now, with the MaxPleasure system, I have all the emotional detachment, verbal abuse, and poor performance of a date without having to go out to a seedy bar by the Air Force base to get one! Thanks MaxPleasure - now when I cry, comfort is in the sock drawer only a few feet away! - Collen James, Yourtown, America
MaxPleasure's patented hyperrealistic technology means you get the most sensual and realistic sensation ever! Just look at some of these amazing features!
- Durable and life-like semi-hard construction to simulate romance after a night of heavy binge-drinking.
- Realistic ejaculation (fluid sold separately) followed by the patented voicechip technology swearing to God it had a vasectomy years ago.
- Patented voicechip technology simulates romance! Writhe in pleasure as it explains that it won't go down on you because it had a big lunch, would be interested in a threesome with the waitress at the Chinese restaurant, and wants to do anal because it forgot its condoms!
- All MaxPleasure units come with a built-in alarm that causes it to wake up at five AM, quietly gather its things, and sneak out of the house.
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!
Order in the next five minutes and you'll receive a free upgrade to the MaxPleasure 3000 series. The 3000 series simulates a real-life partner like never before by conveniently forgetting its wallet at restaraunts, calling obsessively to check on your whereabouts, and promising the love your father(s) never showed you!
Act now, because like the pleasure, supplies are going fast!
* Offer not valid in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico. Check your state's laws for legality of MaxPleasure products - in some instances possession of MaxPleasure products may be punishable by a fine of $10,000 or six months in jail. MaxPleasure is not responsible for electrical fires, yeast infections, or hysterical pregnancies caused by use of MaxPleasure products. If battery cartridge has visible leakage, immediately consult a toxicologist. DO NOT touch face, eyes, or genitals until proper medical attention is rendered.