Is there an alpha male out there? - 28 (Denver)
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2009-03-05, 4:02PM MST
A. I highly doubt I'll find the kind of man I'm looking for on here, so if you respond don't waste my time and don't start sniffling when I don't respond.
B. I'm real, it is gorgeous outside and we just look a great news source last week.
I've realized I can only be happy with an alpha male type. I am very strong, independent and confident. Most men think they can handle me and a few fool me for a while, but they eventually show their soft side and I lose interest. If you are a real alpha male type than prove it to me. How do I know you are not a faker?
I do have pics and will send them when I feel comfortable and trust me I am hot enough for you. Slender with curves where you want them.
Colin Heintze to firstname.lastname@example.org
If you want an alpha male, than look no further bitch (get used to me calling you that, by the way). I wear a barbed wire necktie, use live rattlesnakes for condoms, and drive an M1-A1 Abrahm's tank I took from some pussy in the army who was dumb enough to look me in the eyes, which are made of chrome and lightning. I do what I want when I want, and if someone gets in my way I send them crying back to their mother's bosoms, which I proceed to motor-boat in front of them. I've made three of the world's highest mountains my bitch, have invaded Mexico because they made too much noise when I had a hangover, and once killed an entire town because I was stuck waiting at a red light. That's just what you get when you're with a cold-eyed, dominant killer and revolutionary poet like myself: action - hard, fast, and non-consensual.
I once dated this girl who said I am like a cookie; hard on the outside and soft in the middle. This pissed me off so much I sold her into prostitution. I'm more like an onion - you can keep peeling away the layers, but at the end you're left with nothing, you're crying, and you need to wash your hands. Of course, I wouldn't know cause' only pussies eat vegetables, and I eat nothing but the toughest uncooked portions of endangered species I have slain with my bare hands. So, if you think you can handle that, get back to me. If you're good enough, I may allow you to adore me.
K J to me
Lol, that was fucking funny. I like your style, but if you ever call me a bitch again you are going to lose those little pebbles that allow you to breed. Got it sweetie? Good.
Got a pic?
Colin Heintze to K
You know, I like your style too. You have exactly the inflated sense of self worth, obvious inability to form strong emotional bonds, and hard-edged, solipsistic lack of empathy I look for in a woman. As for my balls, as you will soon find out... they are huge. Just one fold of my epic scrotum is enough to wrap a refrigerator for Christmas. My sperm are the size of tadpoles and can survive in only 100 proof whiskey. My pubic hairs are like acupuncture needles, and support an ecosystem of bird and reptile life specific to my mighty groin.
Here's that picture you wanted. Try not to ejaculate all over the keyboard, wouldn't you?