Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Seeking a Non-Basque Woman (Or, How to Get Flagged Within Minutes)

Seeking a Non-Basque Woman - 25 (Denver)

Reply to:
Date: 2009-03-04, 4:41PM MST

Good Afternoon! I'm a fit, attractive, creative man in my mid-twenties who just got out of a relationship and am looking for a change! I'm open to pretty much all shapes, sizes, and types with one notable exception -I absolutely, emphatically will not accept a drop of filthy Basque blood in any potential girlfriend.

Let me explain: ever since I was a child, I have loathed and abhorred that race of stinking demi-humans known as the Basque. Every time I hear their halting, panting, cro-magnon "language" I want to puke my goddamn guts out. I hate their fucking flat faces, sloped foreheads, and greasy sausage lips. I wretch when I smell their foul odor of mutton and tears of their sexually abused children, of which they have many. So, if you have any Basque in you at all (or are uncertain), don't bother reading on you goddamn repulsive troglodyte.

Here's a good Basque joke: what's the difference between a Basque and a putrifying heap of pig's guts? The pig's guts doesn't sodomize its children on their thirteenth birthdays.

Okay, not a really clever joke, but if you are a non-Basque and go out with me I promise I'll have better. It's just hard to joke about those proto-simian abominations from the Pyrennes, ya know? Did you know that in the 50's and 60's a bunch of ranchers (read: race traitors) in Wyoming brought over a bunch of mutton-eating Basque bastards to work as ranch hands? That's right, in only the next state there are smelly Basque "people" trundling over OUR land with their clumsy pacyderm feet, breathing OUR air with their flared, filth-encrusted nostrils, and, oh god, putting their broad, hairy hands and stubby, covetous little fingers over the bosoms of OUR American women. I just threw up a little in my mouth.

So, if you are not a goddamn fucking Basque, don't molest children, don't eat mutton, and have never blown up a train station, I would be delighted to meet you. Dinner, drinks dancing, whatever - I'm very open minded.

Oh, and also no Jews.

Location: Denver
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1060671368

1 comment:

Exploder said...

I thought these were supposed to be fictional personal ads?