Thursday, January 8, 2009

I Swear to Christ, This Was an Actual Post

"Strippers" Only, Please - 55 (Denver - Capitol Hill)

Reply to: [?]
Date: 2009-01-08, 5:13AM MST

Actually, I date only Dancers, a rare subspecies of strip club stage worker. If you work on a strip club stage within 10 miles of Capitol Hill, you could become the rarest of all stage workers: an Angel!

It doesn't matter if you have children, a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband. All of my Angels have one or more of those. This is not about sex or "only, always and forever". The role of Angel is part-time and flexible. That's why I need to keep four of them around at once. We often frolic as a group. Yes, it's like "Charlie's Angels".

Respond to this ad if Dancing is more than just a job and you Desire:

* Loving like you’ve never had it and always wished you could? That question has nothing to do with sex. Respond to learn what “loving” really is.

• Fun that surprises and delights you. There will be no boring usual stuff like skiing, clubbing, jogging, football games, or just sitting around getting wasted. You can do that sort of thing with someone else, if you wish. Think snake store, alligator farm, psychic readings, coffee shops with Tarot card readers, Zen billiards, “Huzzah!“, Festivus, gourmet home-cooked meals, spontaneous disorderly and unauthorized frolicking…

• Spiritual growth: I’m a Map Maker for Explorers of self-consciousness. I do not teach only my own winding Path or insist that anyone follow it. Instead, I reveal infinite directions in which you may “seek your own salvation diligently” (the Buddha’s very last words) and encourage you to go beyond the borders of my maps. As one of my Angels, a 19 year-old medical student, put it to me:

“i love how you give me insight and could care less whether i use it or not. that shows that you want me to hear what you have to say but don’t need me to “listen” (as in "do what I say"). like your speaking and you hope i use it the way i should. that’s something i have never found in anyone else.

"Im very glad i met you because you have opened my mind...something i have struggled with in the past. ... i feel you have a certain kind of rare wisdom i cannot find anywhere else."

• Frequent Tokens of Appreciation: I have an uncanny knack for selecting the shoes you’ve been seeking for months, given only a size. Also, I delight in little gifts that make you laugh – or cry in overwhelming emotion, sometimes.

If you Desire all of this and more (think "throw [you know what] like rice at a bride"), respond to this ad to learn the qualifications and duties of an Angel.

Please include the name of the club where you work and your stage name. It's quite possible we know each other already!

Respond now; you have nothing to lose and Heaven to gain!

Location: Denver - Capitol Hill
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 984697262

Colin Heintze to pers-984697262
show details 5:46 PM (0 minutes ago) Reply

i saw your post but I've gots to ask you a few questions before you can be my daddy.

first yo, can i crash with you? I'm a booth dancer at kitty's east and i go by the name Sinderella. I don't get much money nowadays cause of fucking gustavo. gustavo's sposed to clean the cum off the screen every half hour but he don't come round no more than once every two. i can't make no money cause the guys don wanna jerk off on a screen all covered with cum, and they can't see me dance good when the screen be all smudgy with cum. fuckin gustavo is always out on colfax doing deals, and the motherfucker doesn't even cut me in even tho i was the one who set him up wit those boys from park hill in the first place.

also, i'm gonna need some yay, like fuckin mountains of it. i'm talking like scarface, i need to rip lines thick as my thumb like three feet long at least three times a day, or i start gettin all shaky an pissed off. my ex-boyfriend/manager tried to hold out on me to get me to fuck dis guy he was buyin a bar with, but i flipped my shit an ran him down wit my car an the fucking cps took my babies away. i jus got them back from their foster parents like two weeks ago so i gotta stay in yea so i don't do nothin crazy like that agin.

i am real spiritual though, i got a tatoo on my lower back that's asian for "serenity" an one above my box that means "hope" or some shit in that jewish language. dat was a real good tat, too, because it covers up the ceasarian scar an guys don like to jerk off when they see the scar.

so, can you help me out? way things are goin i'm gonna not have a home anymore real soon, an the last real home i had my father fucked me in.

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