Sunday, December 21, 2008

Reply: Seeking That Perfect combination of Beautiful, Brilliant, and Deadly

to pers-951931292

Your hilarious! Your posting amused me. Does Manticore provide health insurance? - B.

Colin Heintze to Becca

MANTICORE provides comprehensive health, dental, and vision insurance for all our employees. Supplemental insurance plans may be purchased at discounted rates to cover injuries resulting from madness gas, Tesla-rays, or hunter-killer droid malfunction. EXCEPTION CLAUSE: employees who mutate into another lifeform due to exposure to gamma radiation or solar disruptors must purchase their own individual policies from their preferred insurance provider. Shoot an Email to Judy in HR if you have any questions or wish to file a claim.

MANTICORE also provides life insurance policies to all its regular staff. The employee may choose up to three beneficiaries among their loved ones/sensei/master of the mystic arts/henchman/controlling entity. Though MANTICORE's life insurance is not mandatory, we highly recommend you buy into the policy as the vast majority of our team members see near-immediate returns on their investment. Your cost will be about fifteen dollars per paycheck.

MANTICORE also provides a 401K retirement package managed by the investment firm ING. Though we do not like to fill the coffers of rival nefarious organizations bent on world domination, the people at ING really know how to put together a 30-year investment portfolio. Honestly, you probably won't have much need for this.

Congratulations to Judy from HR for placing 3rd in the state Boggle Championship! On a sadder note, we extend our deepest sympathies for the passing of henchmen #45, 66, 72, 23, 108, 119, 56, 221, 194, 18, 88, and 147. If anyone wishes to use a little PTO to attend their memorial services, you may find them being buried at sea, cremated in lava, or jettisoned into space depending on the place and manner of their demise.

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